Tools for Caregivers

Responsive Care Partnering means interacting with a person with dementia in a way that they can understand and accept. A care partner must first accept the changes that prevent the meeting of old expectations. But not everything is lost. Certain skills tend to last longer than others. As the RCP identifies what these are and uses them, good communication will increase along with a decrease in mutual frustrations.

• Acceptance of change
• Using present skills

Acceptance of change

This is especially difficult for care partners who have lived with loved one for years and developed many mutual expectations. The natural response to irrational behavior or statements is to try to reorient.

• Explanations, defending or arguing DO NOT WORK. They just makes care partners feel frustrated and loved ones, discounted and unheard.
• Instead, join their reality. If they are having an uncomfortable hallucination, offer to get rid of it. "Here, I'll take them outside."
• Say "Yes, and..." instead of explaining or arguing. "Yes, and tell me about it..." provides the attention and respect we all want.
• Say "I'm sorry" instead of defending, even if you didn't do anything wrong.

Teepa Snow teaches "Phrases to Learn for Caregivers." (Seniors Helpers National)

More info in Rollercoaster blogs:

• 3/18/16: Accepting Hallucinations
• 3/26/16: Accepting Delusions